


King & Lionheart

by r0kudaime



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: M/M, and also minor jongin/krystal, this has very slight!kyungsoo/junmyeon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-06
Updated: 2018-08-06
Packaged: 2019-06-22 16:25:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 20,254
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15585933
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/r0kudaime/pseuds/r0kudaime
Summary: the life and times of prince sehun and his lionheart, jongin.





	King & Lionheart

The castle grounds were bathed in the golden glow of the sun beginning to slowly make its descent towards the horizon. Yellow rays were filtering through the leaves of the trees, causing shadows to dance with the swaying of the leaves in the gentle winds of summer. Two boys were playing in these shadows, laughing and cheering in childish delight, enjoying a made up game that involved chasing the other around the trees.

A group of adults had gathered to keep an eye on the children, small, amused smiles on their lips. They all thought it was wonderful that the two four year olds had gotten along so well. It would have been a disaster (and taken too much to fix) if the boys had disliked each other from the start. No, it was much approved that they were such great playmates already.

There was a hush among the adults then, the sounds of the children growing louder in the air as a woman entered their midst. She was petite, but her size did nothing to distract from her powerful aura. Clad in the royal colors of silver and palest gold, chestnut hair braided down her back, and simple silver tiara settled atop her head held high, she gave a warm smile to everyone gathered.

The queen herself had come out into the grounds to observe and watch over her son.

It didn't take long at all for the boy to notice to her, a smile lighting up his small face, turning his eyes up into crescents. He darted over as fast as he could, little feet pounding on the grass, quickly forgetting about the other boy. The queen crouched down, opening her arms and allowing the pale little boy to be swept up into her embrace.

"Is my little prince Sehun having fun?" she coos, fingers stroking over brown locks that are so like her own.

Sehun nods, his pretty smile lighting up his face again. "Yes! Me and Jongin are playing together," he announces, chubby little finger pointing down at the small, tanned boy with black hair looking up at them curiously.

The queen nods, in approval or affirmation that she was listening, and smiles down at Jongin, who happily returns it. "It's time for lunch, my prince. Your lionheart can join you today, the both of you are going to learn something new," she says, planting a kiss on Sehun's soft cheek as the boy giggles. Extending her hand, she allows Jongin to curl his little fingers around her own and leads him back into the castle, Sehun squirming around her grip.

She sets him down, and Sehun immediately runs over to Jongin's side, taking the other boy's hand into his own, which creates an odd sight for everyone who comes across them. Two royals flanking a little boy of common blood is never seen, but the staff has slowly accepted that the queen and her son are not like the royals who came before them. The fact that Jongin is to be Sehun's lionheart adds to the acceptance of this as well.

The dining hall is set for two, cushions set upon chairs adjacent to each other with small plates of food resting in their appropriate places. It's a meal for the children, and the two boys waste no time at all in running to their spots.

Jongin is just clambering into his seat, when his caretaker, an older woman with a kind face but steely will, grabs him by the waist and firmly sets him back on his feet. It's not until Sehun is seated and comfortable that she allows Jongin to take his own place. The prince is to always be seated and served first.

The boys are given a lesson in how to properly use their cutlery today. Before, they had been allowed to clumsily use them to feed themselves, but they're old enough now to learn it properly. There's a lot of whining from Sehun, and quite a few sullen looks from Jongin, and more rumblings of hungry stomachs than usual. Both of the boys are getting cranky and uncooperative, and their caretakers get frustrated and retreat to the kitchen to bring out more food for them (there's more on the table and the floor than what made it into their mouths).

As soon as the two women are gone, Sehun uses his fingers to pick up his food and promptly shove it into his mouth. Jongin watches in awe for a few moments, before a smile spreads over his lips and then he's eating by hand as well. He reaches over to pluck up a piece of fruit from Sehun's plate, and gets swatted away with a whine of _"That's mine!"_

Jongin gets mad, because he's _hungry_ and he really likes that fruit, so he picks up a sliver of chicken from his plate and tosses it at Sehun's head. Sehun's eyes go wide as the food hits his skin, but he's quick to retaliate, tossing food over at Jongin from his own plate. It quickly becomes a game between the boys, their laughter filling the air as they wiggle from their seats, food becoming projectile weapons.

They run all around the dining hall, screaming and hiding behind chairs to avoid getting hit all the while trying to hit their mark of the other. The noises they make are so loud that their caretakers rush in, gasping at the sight of a dirty, food-covered prince, that they rush over to pick the boys up and separate them from their food fight.

Sehun and Jongin are scolded, because what they did was _improper, not what boys like them are supposed to do and they are never to do anything like this ever again_. With teary eyes and watery promises to not play around with their food in the future, they're sent off into the bath.

Once they're both clean and properly fed, they're tucked into bed together. Jongin usually isn't allowed to sleep in the same room as Sehun, but their caretakers agree that it's best to let it pass, just for the night. Sehun curls into Jongin, who wraps his little arms around the pale boy and hugs him close.

They fall asleep cuddled up together, unknowing that it would become a very familiar position to them in the future.

 

 

Sehun gratefully sucks in a lungful of fresh air, closing his eyes for a moment and basking in the sun of this early summer season. He's just escaped the clutches of his tutor in the library, unable to stand being cooped up in the drafty and dark room any longer. The sprint to make it to freedom outside had seemed to take forever, but the adrenaline from his rule breaking had made it worth it. Sehun loved the rush, which is probably why he broke more rules than any prince his age should.

_You're only fourteen once,_ he reminds himself, _better to make the most of it._

With that thought in mind he begins striding along the castle grounds, allowing his feet to take him wherever they may, Sehun not caring where he ends up as long as it's not inside. Early summer is his favorite time of the year, the sun not quite as harsh and unforgiving yet of actual summer, but also not as cold as the breezes of spring time. To Sehun, it's relaxing, and reminds him of the happier times of his youth.

When Sehun's feet eventually lead him to training grounds, a shirtless and sweaty Jongin falls into his line of sight, and he silently adds on another reason to why he loves this warmer season.

Jongin is in the middle of the field, sword in hand and his chest heaving from the physical activity he's undoubtedly had to do since waking up this morning. Stripped down to only his pants and boots, Jongin begins going through the motions of strikes, parries, lunges, and sweeping moves that combine all of the skills he has, his newly toned arms glistening in a thin sheen of sweat. Black hair clings to his forehead, and Sehun watches in near fascination as Jongin irritably sweeps it away.

This has become a bit of a bad habit for Sehun, sneaking away to watch Jongin practice every afternoon. It's not that he can help it, though. He finds it utterly fascinating to sit back and observe the way that Jongin learns how to wield a sword, muscles rippling and dancing under tanned skin in the bright sunlight.

It's all so different from what Sehun himself does daily, cooped up in the library learning the history of his kingdom, politics, and how to present himself properly and befitting of his status as a prince. All he wants to do is be outside with Jongin, his best friend and lionheart, learning how to use the array of weapons that Jongin already knows how to wield, instead of learning the correct way to greet people of different social standing than his own.

Sehun quickly pushes these thoughts aside, because they make him moody and all he wants to do is sit back and enjoy the sight in front of him. Jongin has discarded the sword, now going up against his trainer, Yunho, in hand to hand combat. This isn't one of Sehun's favorite things to watch, because he really doesn't like seeing Jongin get hit, but he enjoys it nonetheless. Jongin's body is taut and his posture is tense, looking like a cat ready to pounce on its prey once opportunity presents itself. And that's exactly what Jongin does.

He lunges forward, fist snapping out and catching Yunho in the side, a foot following and striking at knee, causing the older male to stumble back, looking mildly impressed. But he doesn't have long to recover before Jongin is upon him again, all fists and knees driving into weak spots, and Sehun can tell that the other boy is a natural at this. Jongin fights so effortlessly, his movements so controlled and precise that it can only be instinct that guides his moves.

If Sehun is honest with himself, he is jealous of the fact that Jongin was chosen for something that he has a natural ability in.

Before Sehun can contemplate that thought any longer, a voice calling out his name causes him to tear his gaze away from Jongin. An annoyed groan escapes his lips once his tutor comes rushing into view, looking harried about having to come outside and find Sehun for the fourth time that week. Sehun attempts to dart away and hide behind something, but there's nothing in this part of the training field, only grass and a few archery targets set out in the distance.

"Prince Sehun, you need to come back inside right now! It does not befit someone of your status to be out here and viewing things such as these," Ryeowook, his tutor, scolds upon catching up to Sehun. Thin fingers curl around Sehun's wrist, and he tugs half-heartedly in resistance before giving up, allowing the older male to begin leading him away. "Please try to cease this foolish behavior, Prince Sehun. I'm not very fond of having to chase you down all the time."

Sehun mutters out an apology, not caring that he should probably pay a bit more respect to his tutor, because after all, he does like Ryeowook; it's just that he wants to stay out here. It's suffocating in the library, and the few windows that are there only bring teasing and tantalizing views of the outside world that Sehun wants so desperately to be in. Jongin is also out there, which only increases his desire to just _get out_ and run free for once in his life.

Too busy sulking, Sehun misses the look that Jongin sends his way, a look that consists of concern, and mostly a teasing lilt to his full lips at Sehun's misfortune.

When Sehun is in his bath later that evening, he contemplates what happened earlier on that day. Seeing Jongin training was nothing new to him, but it wasn't often that he got to see the other boy half naked like that. In fact, Sehun hadn't seen Jongin that way in a very long time, so it was a surprise to see how lean Jongin had gotten over the past year and a half.

It seems like just yesterday that Jongin was just as awkwardly skinny and scrawny as Sehun, and it had caught him off guard to see well Jongin was filling out. He no longer looked uncomfortable and uncoordinated in his long limbs, muscle tone beginning to even out and make Jongin lithe and strong.

With a frown gracing his lips, Sehun holds his arm up, studying how pale and thin he is. He pinches a piece of skin, his frown only deepening upon feeling the utter lack of tone to his build. The frustration only grows the more he pokes and prods at his body, unsatisfied with the flesh and bone he keeps feeling under his fingertips. He begins to wonder what Jongin's body would feel like, would it feel vastly different from his own? Sehun believes that it would, but he can't be sure. There's only one way to find out.

Jongin comes awkwardly shuffling in a few minutes later, looking confused as he's left alone with Sehun in his bathing room. Hovering by the door, he avoids letting his gaze fall on the younger boy, who studies him intently from his place in the bath.

Sehun lets Jongin suffer a little longer in silence before finally speaking up and catching the latter's attention. "Join me, Jongin."

Jongin's eyes go wide, and he looks at Sehun as if he's gone mad. "What? No, I'm not going to join you, Sehun. That's weird, I don't want to."

"I'm your prince, and I say that you have to join me in the bath," Sehun says, his tone coming off haughty and commanding as it always does when he uses his rank to get what he wants.

There's still a pause where Sehun isn't sure if Jongin isn't going to listen, but he hears a sigh and hums in accomplishment as Jongin begins to undress. Sehun watches intently, eyes raking over every bit of tanned skin that is revealed as Jongin's clothes fall to the floor. Envy still burns behind his gaze at the sight of a lean body, and he knows that it shows on his face when Jongin finally sinks into the water with him.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" Jongin questions, trying to make himself as small as possible in the relatively cramped space of the bath.

Sehun doesn't say anything for a moment, just studies Jongin for a little longer. Jongin's legs are more curled up than his own, and he takes up more space, not only because he's become taller than Sehun, but also because he's simply more solid. No matter how much he stares, Sehun can't get over that fact.

"I'm not looking at you like anything. Come here, I just want to do something," he responds, raising his hand and beckoning Jongin closer with a flick of his wrist.

With a look of trepidation and uncertainty, Jongin stretches out his limbs and moves himself closer to Sehun. He still looks uncomfortable, and becomes even more so when Sehun reaches out with a pale hand and brushes skinny fingers over the muscles of his upper arm.

"What are you--" Jongin starts, but Sehun cuts him off with a shush.

Jongin clamps his mouth shut, looking displeased as Sehun continues sliding his fingers over Jongin's skin. The differences between them is more apparent the more that Sehun touches him. Where Sehun is just soft skin and bones, Jongin is the opposite. There's a roughness to his skin that only comes from spending long hours under the sun, and hard planes of muscle from the constant physical activity that he's always doing. It's a difference that Sehun doesn't like, it makes him feel all kinds of insecure, because he's still gangly and awkward, not having quite grown into his body in a way that Jongin has already done so well.

With a slide of his fingers, Sehun reaches down and traces the lines of Jongin's abdomen, tongue licking over his thin lips once he feels Jongin tense beneath his touch. He knows that Jongin doesn't like all of this from the way he's fidgeting uncomfortably with every brush of Sehun's wandering hand. But he's not ready to stop just yet. The curiosity to know more just keeps growing the more he touches, and Sehun knows that this one time isn't going to be enough to satisfy him.

When Sehun tentatively presses his fingers against Jongin's cock, he gets a rough shove against his shoulder that sends him crashing against the side of the bath with a yelp. Before he can get his bearings Jongin is scrambling away, face flushed with embarrassment and anger. Sehun tries to call him back, but Jongin is ignoring him in favor of fiercely tugging his clothes on.

"Jongin, wait, come back!" Sehun pleads, feeling a little guilty over invading Jongin's personal space so much.

But Jongin continues to ignore him, not bothering to dry off his wet skin as he yanks his pants on, avoiding looking anywhere near Sehun. Feet are roughly shoved into boots, and Jongin is trembling as he stomps over to the door, fingers grasping so tightly at the handle that Sehun can see that his knuckles are white.

"You may be my prince, Sehun, but that doesn't mean that I'm going to allow you to touch me simply because you're curious," Jongin hisses out through clenched teeth.

And then he is gone, the door being yanked open before he strides angrily through it, slamming it with such force that it rattles on its hinges. Sehun is left to a feeling of disappointment, and shame. Shame because he honestly hadn't meant to upset Jongin, that was the last thing that he wanted to happen.

Once he's in his night clothes and curled up in bed, Sehun resolves to apologize to Jongin first thing in the morning. Even though Jongin was not of equal status as him, he was still Sehun's closest, and pretty much only, friend. And what he did was not the way that one would treat a friend.

(Sehun still plans to continue exploring their differences, though.)

 

 

The next morning Sehun awakens earlier than usual, determined to catch Jongin before the other boy has risen. He hastily dresses himself, not in any mood at all to deal with his fussy attendants who like to make sure he looks impeccably dressed no matter what, even if Sehun is going to do nothing all day.

Doing his best to escape his room without anyone notice, Sehun manages to navigate the corridor out of his rooms, and lets out a breath of relief once he escapes successfully. After that, it's only a relatively short walk through the halls to Jongin's own rooms, not very far from Sehun's own. (Jongin is his lionheart, after all, he must stay close to Sehun at all times.)

With an impatient knock, Sehun waits outside Jongin's door, fidgeting nervously until a bleary eyed Jongin answers, his sleepy confusion quickly morphing into irritation once he sees Sehun standing there. It looks as if he wants to slam the door in Sehun's face, but the respect and reverence to the pale boy has been drilled so thoroughly into Jongin's head that he would never be able to commit such an act.

Sehun doesn't want to risk it though and he squirms his way into the room, nudging the door open wider and ducking under Jongin's arm before moving to stand in the middle of the latter's bedroom. With a quick glance he sees that there isn't much difference between this room and his own. Despite the fact that they both have servants to clean up after them, there's still a mess of books and various articles of clothing that litter the floor and various surfaces scattered throughout.

Turning back to Jongin, Sehun finds that he's leaning back against the door, arms crossed over his chest and body posture rigid and straight, and Sehun knows that he's uncomfortable. More guilt seeps into his consciousness at the sight, and he glances away, fingers fidgeting with a corner of parchment on the desk he's standing next to.

"I'm sorry about last night, it wasn't right of me to do that without asking," Sehun says, looking back over at Jongin and catching his eyes, trying to convey the sincerity of his words.

The minutes that pass where Jongin contemplates this, his eyes studying Sehun's face intently, cause him to squirm around in discomfort and anxiety. He wishes that Jongin would just answer already, but he knows better than to prod at him. Pushing Jongin to answer is a terrible idea, he would just close up and avoid speaking to Sehun for days. It's an annoying habit, but Sehun is learning to live with it.

"It's alright, just don't do it again," Jongin mumbles, his face turning a pretty shade of red as he turns his head to the side, avoiding Sehun's gaze.

"I won't. Now get dressed, we're having breakfast together." Sehun nods, striding over and patting Jongin's shoulder, trying not to notice the way that the older boy recoils slightly from his touch. It stings a little that he does, but Sehun doesn't hold it against him. In all honesty, he would probably react the same way too.

Their meal together is more awkward than it's been a while, with Jongin looking mildly embarrassed throughout and avoiding looking directly at Sehun whenever he speaks. It isn't too bad though, because Jongin is still speaking to him, and their conversation flows as easily as ever. The jokes and teasing is a little more strained than usual, but Sehun goes to his lessons that morning with a happy spring in his step.

The happiness doesn't last long however, and before long his attention wanders, gaze lingering out of the window of the library. Today Jongin is practicing archery, and Sehun admires the way that his muscles strain with the weight of the draw of the bow. It's in that moment that Sehun decides that _yes, he's going to continue what he started yesterday, tonight._

He wasn't going to continue so soon, but the curiosity was getting the better of him. Which is why Sehun announced to his attendants later that day that he was going to be staying in his lionheart's chambers tonight. There were protests, of course. Most of them from Jongin, but when Sehun wants something he gets it.

Sehun is relaxing on Jongin's bed, and finds it to be surprisingly comfortable. The blankets are soft and warm, and they smell of Jongin, which to Sehun is comforting and familiar. He likes it. 

While Sehun is at ease and comfortable, Jongin is the opposite. He's staying as far away from Sehun as he can, his body movements stiff and wary from where he sits at his desk, flipping through a book (a book of maps, Sehun notes). The distance is getting annoying to Sehun, and with an irritated scrunch of his nose he calls Jongin over.

Jongin looks as if he doesn't want to be there, but he obliges anyway, gingerly sitting at the edge of the bed. Sehun doesn't do anything; he just simply observes Jongin's face, which is quickly reddening under his gaze. A tongue swipes across full lips, and suddenly a recent memory springs up to the forefront of Sehun's mind.

Only a few days previously, he and Jongin had snuck off to the kitchen, hoping to grab a few little snacks unnoticed. When they had crept around a corner into the corridor leading to the kitchen, they found it to not be deserted. There was already another pair of people occupying the hallway, lips molded together and hands clutching and moving desperately under clothing and bare skin. It was only when Sehun had let out a gasp of surprise that they broke apart, eyes wide and terrified over the fact that it was the _prince_ who had found them.

Sehun had recognized the wide eyed one to be one of the chefs, a young boy not much older than himself and who's cakes that he particularly liked. The other had been another male, Joonmyun, a son of one of his father's advisors. Someone who was going to be one of Sehun's advisors one day. But Sehun hadn't been upset or angry over finding the two of them together, he had been merely surprised, and curious, too. So he allowed a horrified Jongin to pull him away, but not before he could send the scared pair a wink and a grin.

The memory came to him in this moment because ever since then, he had wanted to try it with Jongin. Sehun has never kissed someone before, and the idea of experiencing that with someone excites and intrigues him. The thought of that someone being Jongin makes him want to experience it even more so than he already does.

"Jongin, I would like your permission to kiss you," he says, already scooting closer and hoping that the other boy won't turn him down.

The older boy seems to contemplate this, tongue swiping over his lips again as he studies Sehun. But Sehun waits patiently, he has a feeling that he's going to get what he wants this time. And it's only a few moments later when he's proven right, watching as Jongin gives him a slow, tentative nod.

Sehun leans closer, bringing a hand up to rest on Jongin's shoulder, feeling how tense the latter is under his touch. They lean in slowly, eyes studying each other's faces as soft breaths are shared between then. And then Sehun lets his eyes flutter shut, closing the distance and placing his lips against Jongin's.

It's not exactly what he had expected it to be like. Jongin's lips are bigger than his own, chapped and dry from all of his time spent outside, teeth constantly digging into them in concentration. Their mouths move awkwardly together, neither of them has any idea what they're doing, but Sehun thinks that he wouldn't mind learning how to improve with Jongin.

When they pull away, Sehun's lips feel tingly and swollen, but it's not unpleasant. He quite enjoys the feeling, actually. And judging by the way that Jongin looks happily dazed, blinking at Sehun with something like admiration in his eyes, he knows that Jongin enjoyed it too.

"I think," Jongin starts, already looking flustered, "that we should do this again. Possibly a lot more, in the future."

Sehun smiles brightly, his eyes curving up as he nods in agreement. Jongin seems pleased and content with the response, lying out on the bed, stretching his body lazily like a cat. He beckons Sehun to him, holding out his arms in invitation. With no hesitation Sehun joins him, fitting himself against Jongin's side and sighing quietly as he's enveloped into Jongin's embrace.

They share a few more shy kisses, and nothing more. Sehun is content with that for now, happiness trilling through his veins as Jongin blows out the lamp, shrouding the room in darkness. Curled up against each other, Sehun falls asleep to the gentle lull of Jongin's heart and hopes that this is the beginning of something better to come.

 

 

Sehun's hopes do end up coming to fruition, in a way.

Jongin has given in to Sehun's curiosity, and his own, too. The touches he shared with Sehun were always shy and unsure at first, but eventually he became more bold, initiating things and even dragging the younger boy away from his duties so they could be alone.

It's such a thrill to do this, and Sehun can't get enough. They never do more than kiss and touch, but that is more than enough for the both of them. The slide of hands and fingers over sensitive skin and the molding of lips keeps them both satisfied and happy.

The memory of the first time they had touched each other is vivid in Sehun's mind. It was a balmy night, and Sehun had dragged Jongin to his rooms, shutting out everyone except for the other boy, declaring that no one was to be allowed in until he came out for his morning meal. His attendants had no choice but to listen to him.

Clothes had been quickly stripped off, Jongin's own dark ones mingling together with the silvers and golds of Sehun's own, and he remembers musing over the fact that it was similar to their skin when they were tangled together.

Lying side by side on Sehun's bed, shoulders pressed together and bodies heating up from the proximity and weather, they had merely looked at each other. But then Jongin had leaned in and fit their mouths together, and it all followed quickly after that.

Shy fingers were wrapped around erections, mewls and soft moans swallowed by lips as their hands clumsily slid over slick skin. Sehun had felt like he was on fire, skin heating up and about to burst from all the sensations that all added up to a chorus of _Jongin, Jongin, Jongin_.

Once they had both come down from their highs, there was a mutual understanding that something had _changed_. Their friendship wasn't the same anymore, and it would never be from this point onward. It was a scary thought, that after crossing this line they wouldn't be able to go back to being innocent little boys together. But it wasn't so bad, Sehun had thought, he would rather grow up and leave childhood innocence behind with Jongin than with anyone else.

The change was more apparent now than ever. Gone were the days when they had played in the castle grounds together, their time being spent now hidden in corners and abandoned rooms, the laughter they used to share has turned into moans and gasps of _more_.

Sehun wouldn't change what they do for anything, though. He likes having Jongin's hands on him, the feeling of rough fingertips and palms sliding over his body always making him crave for that touch. He likes the way their skin contrasts, the way Jongin's tanned body always makes Sehun's own look more pale than he actually is. 

The more that he touches Jongin, the less self-conscious he becomes of his own body. And Sehun rewards himself with a mental pat to the back, because his hard work of swaying Jongin into letting him touch him whenever he wants has been successfully completed.

 

 

Early fall arrives upon them sooner than Sehun is prepared for.

This is always a bad time of the year for him, his least favorite, in fact. For it was during this time, seven years ago, that his mother had died. The pain usually is in the back of his mind, a dull throb that he's able to ignore on most days. But once the weather begins cooling off, and summer is still barely clinging onto everything, is when it overwhelms him the most. Reminds him that the pain is still as fresh as ever in his thoughts.

He can still remember how his seven year old mind had struggled to understand the fact that his mother was never coming home. Hadn't she told him that she would be back in a week's time? She had just gone to visit Sehun's uncle in the town a day's ride away, she always came home.

But not this time.

A raiding party from Zhanguo had ambushed her and her guards, the surprise of the attack and their small numbers causing them to ultimately fail in their duty of protecting the queen. For Sehun's mother to reach her premature death.

Sehun always thought that if his mother had been able to defend herself, if she had known how to use a sword, dagger, _anything_ , she might have lived. Which is why he had begged Jongin to teach him how to use the weapons that he was always training with.

At first, Jongin adamantly refused to even consider it. Even at seven years old, Jongin knew the consequences of what would happen if he were caught teaching Sehun. And he didn't want his tongue to get cut out, the mere thought of it extremely horrifying to him, his sleep even plagued by nightmares.

But Sehun was determined not to give up. He whined, begged, and pleaded until eventually, Jongin couldn't stand his tears anymore and gave in. Jongin was terrified, but he didn't want Sehun to be upset any longer, so he found deserted areas around the castle and taught Sehun how to use a dagger to defend himself. Sehun had pouted because he wanted to use a sword, but Jongin had said that Sehun was too small and maybe once they were older he would teach the younger boy what he wanted to learn.

The lessons had continued for five years, until they had almost gotten caught. They had barely gotten away and hid, and Jongin was so terrified and furious that he had refused to teach Sehun anything else, no matter how much that Sehun whined.

That was two years ago, and with the memory of pain and loss fresh in his mind, Sehun pleads his case to Jongin again.

"Jongin, I have something to ask you." Sehun corners the other boy in the stables one afternoon, where Jongin is visiting with his horse, Ivory.

"The answer is no."

"You didn't even let me ask," he huffs, irritably crossing his arms over his chest.

Jongin just shrugs his shoulders in response, hands carefully stroking through Ivory's mane, expression soft and gentle and for a vague second, Sehun is jealous of a _horse_.

"Will you teach me how to use a sword?" Sehun asks, voice probably louder than it should be. "You promised me years ago that you would, and now I'm here to take you up on that offer, and I'm not--"

His words are cut off when Jongin slaps a hand over his mouth, eyes wide with fear as he drags Sehun back into the shadows of the horse's stall. 

"Why are you being so loud?" Jongin hisses through clenched teeth, hand still pressed against Sehun's lips. "Do you _want_ to get me in trouble?"

Sehun shakes his head. He really doesn't want Jongin to get punished, the guilt of it would probably haunt him for the rest of his life, because it would be his fault. But he also wants to get his way, he wants this so _badly_ that he's not afraid to be vocal about it. Even if the risk is almost not worth it. Almost.

Jongin tentatively lowers his hand, eyes heavy with fear and suspicion, and he drags Sehun further back into a dark corner, where it would be harder to hear and see what they're up to.

"You know what this time of year means to me, and I think it's been long enough that we can continue with our lessons." Sehun reaches out and clasps onto Jongin's hand, partly to keep the older from covering his mouth again and partly because he knows that Jongin finds it harder to resist when Sehun is physically touching him.

Silence reigns for a few moments, Jongin avoiding Sehun's gaze, but grip never loosening on his hand. "I could get in so much trouble for this," he mutters, tone defeated, and Sehun knows that he's gotten his way.

"We won't get caught, I'm sure of it," Sehun reassures, a smile making its way across his face.

Jongin still looks skeptical, but he releases Sehun's hand anyway and disappears from the corner, going back over to his horse. The expression on his face is worried, with an undertone of fear, and guilt creeps into the edges of Sehun's consciousness. But he pushes them away, because as much as he cares for Jongin, this is more important to him. He's not going to back out of what he wants for Jongin's sake, even if it probably was the right thing to do.

"Can we start today?" he asks, stepping up to Jongin's side and speaking quietly as to not be overheard.

"No, tomorrow. It'll give me time to think of a suitable place to go, where we won't be found," Jongin answers, voice equally as soft.

Sehun nods, giving Jongin's shoulder a light pat before he slips away. The worry in his chest seem to ease a bit with the thought that Jongin will help him, that he's finally going to be able to learn how to handle himself and not have to rely too heavily on anyone else to protect him. He's also confident in the fact that he knows that Jongin will find them a suitable place to practice, and place that they won't be found. It's just up to Sehun, now, to keep everyone off their backs when the inevitable questions of where they go start coming in. But Sehun is good at lying and at brushing off things that he doesn't want to deal with. There's no way that they're going to get caught, Sehun is sure of it.

 

 

Three weeks later and Sehun is proven horribly wrong.

As he had predicted, Jongin had found a perfectly suitable place for them to practice. There was a spot in the forest just outside the castle grounds, just west of the river, where there was a decently flat clearing. It was wide enough around that they had room to let their horses graze while they practiced with their swords. The training was hard and physically demanding, but they were good for Sehun. Already he could he feel himself becoming stronger, his body more lean and fit like Jongin's, and the knowledge that he was slowly learning to defend himself pleased Sehun greatly.

The excuses weren't that hard to make up, either. Whenever someone asked Sehun where he disappeared off to, he simply said that he would _go where I please and my lionheart shall go with me, it's not of your concern._ And it seemed to be accepted, for the most part. His attendants worried about him the most, but they were in no place to question the prince. And Sehun used that to his advantage whenever he could.

On this day, however, Sehun and Jongin had returned earlier than normal from their practice. They quickly left their horses in the stables and rushed into the castle, barely finding an abandoned corridor before they were on each other.

Jongin pressed Sehun up against the wall, lips forcefully attaching to his own, their teeth clashing painfully, but neither boy cared. It was all about the need they were both faced with, hands clawing at clothing and teeth biting into sensitive skin, breathless pants filling the air between them.

Just as Sehun is about to slide his hand into Jongin's pants, they hear the sound of footsteps rapidly approaching. Immediately they break apart, fear and adrenaline coursing through Sehun's veins as he tries to fix his appearance. Both he and Jongin look extremely disheveled, hair sticking up every which way and clothes rumpled from where desperate hands had found purchase.

It's when Sehun is trying to fix his shirt that, with a jolt, he realizes that he's still got his sword strapped around his waist. Jongin notices too, and his face pales as he watches Sehun's trembling fingers try to yank it off. But it's a lost cause, they're too late to fix it because just then, one of Sehun's father's enforcers is walking around the corner, footsteps faltering at the sight before him.

"Prince Sehun, may I inquire as to what is going on here?" the enforcer asks, voice gruff as he eyes them suspiciously.

"Nothing, sir. We were only heading back to our rooms," Sehun answers, finally grateful for all of his lessons in proper royal etiquette. His voice doesn't waver or crack at all, despite how terrified he is at the moment.

A tense silence follows while the enforcer looks Jongin and Sehun over, eyes narrowing the more he takes in of their appearances. And then his eyes land on the sword on Sehun's hip, and a flash of anger is evident on the man's face. Sehun chances a look over at Jongin, and while he stands straight and still, Sehun knows him well enough to read the terror in his eyes.

"And what exactly is _this_?" the man snarls, stepping closer and yanking the sword out of its scabbard, and Sehun desperately wishes he hadn't done that. An angry enforcer with a sword in his hand is a sight he never wants to see - especially if he was caught breaking rules.

Sehun licks his lips nervously, all useful thoughts flying out of his head at the horrible reality getting caught. He doesn't know how he's going to get them out of this one, and he doesn't think that he can. "It's n-nothing, sir," he stutters out, "we weren't doing anything with it."

"Do you take me for an imbecile, Prince? We have all turned a blind eye to your doings since the Queen's death, but this is going too far. You and your lionheart are to accompany me to the King, immediately." He gestures at the scabbard on Sehun's waist, who rushes to pull it off and hand it over.

Sehun's heart is sinking into his stomach, and guilt is clawing its way up his insides with every step they take down the corridors of the castle. Curious eyes follow their progress, Prince Sehun and his lionheart, following along one of the King's enforcers. There's going to be gossip about this all day. But he doesn't care, he can only focus on the well hidden terror of the boy beside him.

Jongin doesn't show any outward sign of his fear, but there's still _something_ there that tells Sehun how scared Jongin actually is. The guilt is eating him alive at this point, knowing that it's his fault that they're being marched into his father's military room. They weren't caught actually doing anything, and Sehun knows that Jongin won't suffer the punishment of his tongue being cut out. But they will do something, and Sehun can only hope that it won't be too harsh.

But suddenly Sehun’s vision swims, and there’s a vague image of a whip flashing through the air, and he stumbles in shock. Jongin reaches out and grabs Sehun’s arm, steadying him while a small flicker of concern makes itself apparent over the fear on his face. That small emotion makes Sehun feel only more guilty, and he shakes his head to show that he isn’t hurt, but he is still shaken up over what he saw.

When they walk in, Sehun's father looks up from a map he's studying, and a look of displeasure flits across his face at the sight of his son so obviously in some sort of trouble. The enforcer leaves Sehun and Jongin standing at the edge of the room, going up to the King to converse with him quietly, shooting glances over the two of them every so often.

The King's expression darkens the longer that they talk, and soon enough Sehun is fidgeting nervously where he stands. Before he can completely break down, however, both he and Jongin are called forward. The eyes of every person in the room are on them, and it does nothing except to add to Sehun's growing fear and nausea.

"Sehun, my son - the possibility that you are training in secret has been brought to my attention. You are well aware that this is frowned upon in our customs. Do you have to anything to say in your defense?" Sehun's father speaks calmly, but there's a dark glint in his eyes that Sehun knows is _not good_.

The first time Sehun opens his mouth, nothing comes out, his throat is too dry. He clears his throat, face flushed red before managing to make his voice heard. "I would never defy our customs, father," he says, a little relieved that he managed to speak without trembling or his voice wavering at all.

Sehun's father looks disappointed in his answer, most likely knowing that Sehun is lying through his teeth right now. "The fact still stands that you were caught with a sword on your person. Evidence would suggest that you've been engaged in secret training… but considering you were not caught in the actual act of using a sword, your lionheart shall be spared the highest punishment," he says, gaze flickering over to Jongin.

Sehun wants to let out a sigh of relief, to cry because a huge weight is lifted off his shoulders and the guilt washes away at the thought that they're not going to be punished. But he's gotten ahead of himself, because his father is still speaking.

"But, another punishment shall be given in its stead. We make no exceptions for rule breakers, whether in the Prince's service or not. Your lionheart is to receive twenty lashings for providing you with a sword. And you, my son, shall watch." The King levels his gaze at Sehun, eyes cold and unforgiving. Sehun knows that he won't be able to get his way with his father this time, so he just nods slowly.

The guilt comes crashing back down in his gut as he looks over at Jongin, who's gone deathly pale and trembles where he stands. Two enforcers grab Jongin by the arms, holding him still while they drag the terrified boy out of the room. Sehun bows at his father, throat too closed up with unshed tears to even speak a goodbye before another enforcer is clutching at his upper arm, leading him out in the same direction that Jongin just went.

They're taken to the main courtyard, where Jongin is stripped of his sword and shirt, bronze skin glinting in the sunlight. And if the situation wasn't so dire, Sehun would have loved to admire how he looked right now. But the fleeting thought is pushed from his mind when he watches as Jongin's hands are roughly tied to the lashing post, to hold his body up when his legs eventually give out on him.

The enforcer that caught them is handed a whip, and soon enough a crowd of servants and guards is gathered around to watch the scene. Sehun is standing at such an angle that he can clearly see Jongin's back, but also the profile of his face, and Sehun feels so horribly guilty seeing the fear that Jongin is so poorly hiding. He sends out a silent apology, an apology he knows will never be enough, and braces himself for what's to come.

Before Sehun, or even Jongin, can brace himself, there's suddenly the crack of a whip, and Jongin jerks in his bonds, a red welt already rising on his back from the hit. The crowd is whispering all around him, but Sehun can't focus on anything except Jongin's face. His teeth are clenched together, expression growing increasingly more pained after each sting of the whip against his back. Sehun knows that he's not going to be able to keep up his mask for long; lashings are painful, and already his back is beginning to ooze trickles of blood.

By the sixth lash, Jongin begins sobbing. Once the seventeenth is reached, he's unconscious.

As soon as the punishment is complete, the enforcer holding Sehun in place releases him, and leaves with the rest of them back to his father. Sehun is frozen where he stands for a few moments, eyes locked on the bloodied mess that is Jongin's back. But then the world moves around him again, the crowd dispersing and he's rushing forward, running over to Jongin, tears blurring his vision.

With shaky fingers he brushes Jongin's hair out of his closed eyes, doing his best to avoid looking at the mess on the other boy's back. He doesn't want to know what it feels like to blackout from pain, but Sehun figures it's about the same as he feels right now. If he could, Sehun would fall unconscious too, because the guilt and horror of seeing his best friend reduced to this is something he can't bear.

He doesn't even know he's sobbing until gentle hands are pulling him away, a handkerchief pressed into his palm. Sehun wipes at his face, only distantly taking note of his childhood attendant holding him against her side, watching as two castle doctors are carefully untying Jongin from his bonds. They sling the unconscious boy's arms over their shoulders, carrying him back into the castle, a dazed Sehun following in their wake.

At this arrangement of walking, Sehun can't avoid looking at Jongin's back. The lashes are overlapped, clearly having run out of room on his back to hit unmarked skin. Blood is seeping from the wounds that the whip left, a steady flow that indicates that they're deep. Jongin's back will forever be scarred from this incident.

And so will Sehun's mind.

 

 

Three weeks have passed and Jongin's back is finally healing. For the most part, anyway. Whenever he overexerts himself the wounds in his back tend to open up and bleed through his clothing, the pain as fresh as it ever was. The doctors have told him to take a break from training until the wounds fully heal, and he's been bored out of his mind with nothing to do around the castle.

The empty hours also fuel Jongin's growing bitterness towards Sehun.

It's not that he _dislikes_ Sehun, not at all. Jongin is just getting fed up with having to go along with Sehun's schemes all the time, and nearly always being the one to pay the price for their antics. The lashing he was dealt is almost his final straw, the one thing that was needed to push him into the dark void of unhappiness.

But he manages to hold out, to not fall into a depression - Jongin knows that he's stronger than that. He knows that he has to tough it out and not give in to his selfish whims. It would be wrong of him to put himself first, not when Sehun is still around and needs him. That's not what a lionheart does, so Jongin is going to do everything he can to keep it from happening.

Which is why, despite the bitter feelings that linger around him, Jongin goes along with Sehun's whims once again. The younger boy had begged Jongin to go into town for him, to a certain apothecary that carried a special kind of bath salt that Sehun loved using. He hadn't really wanted to go, but Sehun had pouted and whined and pulled the _I'm your prince you're supposed to listen to me_ card, so Jongin had no choice but to go to the stables and saddle up Ivory.

The small jolts that come from riding a horse sting the wounds on Jongin's back, but he keeps his expression as pain free as he can. The citizens of the town stare as he rides by, still not entirely used to a high member of the court exploring the town freely without any guards. Of course, Jongin by himself is worth a whole troop of guards, but he doesn't think that everyone is completely sure of his status as the new lionheart. It's rumored, of course, but he won't be officially announced until the day that Sehun himself ascends to the throne and accepts his title as King.

Before he can get uncomfortable with the staring, Jongin arrives at the apothecary, much to his relief. He slides off his horse, wincing as the impact of his boots hitting the ground agitate his injuries even more, and instructs a young boy lingering nearby to watch Ivory, promising to pay him a gold piece for his efforts once Jongin is done getting what he needs.

The shop is empty when he enters, so he takes his time to study the jars and vials that neatly line the shelves along the walls. Jongin is lurking in a dark corner when someone bustles out from the back, a young woman who appears to be older than himself, dark brown hair falling straight down her back. She has an open bag in her arms, and begins placing various items into it, muttering to herself and completely oblivious to Jongin's presence.

Clearing his throat he steps out of the shadows, trying not to feel too guilty when the woman starts in surprise, nearly dropping her bag as she whirls on the spot to face him, eyes wide.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to startle you! I just need to purchase a few things," Jongin quickly apologizes, bending down in a small bow.

She seems to get over her surprise then, gathering her simple red skirts in her hands and giving him a small curtsy, polite smile on her lips. "It's alright, my fault for not paying attention. I have an order to deliver, but I can get someone to help you with what you need, sir."

Jongin nods in acknowledgement, and the woman calls out to the back of the shop from whence she appeared ( _"Soojung, we have a customer, get out here!"_ ). Another girl bustles out, looking quite like the one before him, and Jongin thinks they must be sisters. But once he turns to get a better look at her, his mouth goes dry with nervousness. This girl is around his age, and her hair is a pretty black that falls down in waves, framing her pale face prettily. She's very attractive, and Jongin isn't quite sure how he's going to deal with speaking to her once they're alone.

Before he can worry too much, he hears a gasp from the woman, and peers over his shoulder curiously at her, where she's staring with wide eyes at his back.

"You're bleeding through your shirt!" she exclaims, hurrying forward and peeling the material away from Jongin's back. He grits his teeth as the fabric pulls on his skin, and hears a tut of sympathy from behind him. "Soojung, get the ointment we use for cuts from lashings, and take care of him. I'll be back once I've delivered this."

And then she's gone, leaving Jongin with a nervous feeling settling in the pit of his stomach at the thought of being alone with the pretty Soojung. He tries not to let it show as the girl shyly motions for him to follow her into the back, which is where there's a small workroom that appears to be where they bottle and label all of their medicines and products.

Soojung pulls up a stool, and quietly instructs Jongin to remove his shirt while she gathers the supplies to clean his back. He obeys, grimacing at the lines of blood on his shirt while he takes his seat, knowing that the wounds reopened because of the stress from riding into town from the castle. It frustrates him, because he knows that this should never have happened in the first place. He should have been smart enough to not go along with Sehun and his rule breaking.

Before Jongin can delve deeper into those thoughts, though, a cool substance is being carefully applied to his back by small hands. The sting of it draws a surprised gasp from his lips, and Soojung hesitates in her work before continuing on a moment later.

"The sting will go away soon, I'm sorry..?" Soojung speaks softly, letting her question hang in the air between them.

"Jongin. It's fine, I can deal with it, please continue," he answers, glancing over his shoulder and smiling at Soojung, who flushes before dropping her gaze.

"We see these types of wounds often, there are many lashings that happen here in town," she says after a few moments of silence. "I guess even lionhearts can't escape these types of punishments though, hm?"

Jongin turns in his seat, brows furrowed slightly as he studies Soojung's face. "How did you know I'm to be the next lionheart?"

Her face flushes a pretty red again, and she nervously cleans up the medicines she used on Jongin. "I've seen you and the prince riding around town, and I've seen you when you've come out on your own."

He nods slowly, watching as Soojung avoids his gaze as she bustles around the room, putting the medicine away and rummaging for something in the cabinets. Jongin is flattered and a little surprised that someone has paid attention to him in such a way, no one usually does. The attention is always on Sehun, everyone going out of their way to please the prince and give him what he wants. No one notices the dark and quiet presence at his side, and that's how it's supposed to be. Jongin's job is to protect Sehun, not be noticed as a person. But he would be lying if he said that it doesn't make him utterly happy to know that someone _has_ paid him attention, and even bothered enough to keep track of him.

Soojung breaks him out of his thoughts as she holds out a clean white shirt, and Jongin notices the nervous tremble in her fingers as she keeps flicking shy glances up at his face. "You can't wear that dirty one out. This is an old shirt of my father's, he won't miss it. Please keep it, Jongin."

"Thank you, for the shirt, and for treating my back, Soojung." Jongin nods, smiling as he takes the clean shirt from her and slips it over his head, noticing the way that the nervousness in her body language lessens slightly once he's clothed.

"It's no problem at all. Now, what is it you wanted to purchase?" she asks, gesturing to the door that leads back to the front of the shop, and Jongin obligingly steps out.

He waits until Soojung's followed him out, and leans onto the counter in front of her, partly to ease his back and partly because he likes the red tint that creeps onto her cheeks the closer he gets to her.

"I came here to get bath salts, for Prince Sehun. He didn't specify which kinds, so maybe I could just get a sampling of some of them?"

"Would you like a bit of each? Or just the most popular ones?" she asks, already walking over to the shelves to begin pulling down small bags.

"Just a few," Jongin finds himself answering too quickly. "I'd like to come back and see you again, soon."

Soojung turns the brightest shade of red that Jongin's seen yet, and it makes him feel less embarrassed over his thoughtless outburst.

It takes only a few moments for her to fill up a handful of small vials of the salts, and she carefully slips them into a small bag before handing them over to Jongin. Their fingers brush, and Jongin feels a rush of _something_ , but he isn’t quite sure what. It’s similar to the feeling he gets sometimes with Sehun, but yet this is still different, in some way. The rush is more of a warmth, spreading from his fingers and slowly crawling along his veins and spreading to the rest of his body. With Sehun it’s more of a shock, electric and intense and altogether more powerful than what he feels with Soojung, but the newness of the sensation with her is what intrigues him the most.

Jongin fumbles with his coin pouch, fingers trembling slightly from this whole interaction, and when he tries to inquire about how much he owes, Soojung says softly, “There’s no need for that.”

“No, I insist. You cared for me and gave me new things to wear, I’m not leaving without some sort of payment,” he says stubbornly, pulling out three gold pieces and setting them down onto the counter.

Soojung nods meekly, shyly accepting the coins and depositing them somewhere underneath the counter that Jongin can’t see. He lingers for a few more moments, teeth worrying his bottom lip as he studies her face, trying to contemplate his next words. Another thoughtless outburst is the last thing he needs. The embarrassment of the first one is more than enough for him for one day.

“ _Can_ I come back and see you again, soon?” he asks, tone laced with a shy hope.

“Yes, I would like that,” Soojung answers, glancing up at him to finally meet his gaze and flash him a small smile.

Jongin returns her smile, feeling the happiest he’s been in days, and leaves the shop with a new sense of thrill about him. The boy that was watching Ivory for him earns himself two coins instead of one, and just when Jongin is about to leave he sees the first girl, and flashes her a bright smile. She stares curiously for a moment, but then realization dawns on her face and she returns his smile with her own knowing one.

When Jongin returns to the castle and to Sehun’s rooms, the latter flashes him a suspicious look as he takes the bag from him. “What has you so happy?” he questions, inspecting the bottles and trying to appear disinterested, but Jongin knows him well enough to realize that Sehun is dying to know.

“Nothing, it was just a successful trip into town. Were those the ones you wanted?” he lies easily, gesturing disinterestedly to the bottles in Sehun’s hands.

“They’re acceptable. Next time you go get me different ones to try. You can go.” Sehun nods, obviously dismissing Jongin when he turns his back and wanders away.

Jongin is only too happy to go, he doesn’t want to deal with Sehun at the moment. His thoughts are filled with Soojung and how much he’s anticipating seeing her again soon. This is the first time he’s had something of his own to enjoy, something that wasn’t given to him or had to be earned. It’s a thrilling and freeing feeling, and Jongin is full of fantasies for the days to come.

 

 

The next few months are some of the happiest times that Jongin has spent in sixteen years of living. When he isn’t training or at Sehun’s beck and call, he’s in town, having snuck off to go visit Soojung. True to his word, he had come to see her every chance that he got. It was getting easier and easier to sneak out, what with the war with Zhanguo getting worse and everyone’s attention in the castle being focused on that. Even Sehun was noticing Jongin less, being shut up more often with his tutors and learning all the finer details of becoming the eventual king of Joseon. Jongin’s training was getting longer and more strenuous, but since he was already so good at what he did, his time wasn’t as monopolized as Sehun’s had become, and he was free more often than not to go into town.

Soojung was always quietly waiting for him, pretty smile on her face and a small hand shyly holding onto his own. Her sister (Jongin was glad he had guessed correctly), Sooyeon, always sent them off with a teasing jab at their “silly young love”, but Jongin noticed that there was a hint of worry and care in her eyes when she sent them off. But he was too distracted by being thrilled and happy to be with Soojung to put much thought into it.

The time they spent together wasn’t anything amazing or special by any means. They spent most of their time in silence, riding their horses together, or just sitting along the banks of the river and basking in the late autumn air, which was still warm, but not overbearingly so.

Jongin quite enjoyed the silence, actually. It was a nice change from what he was used to. Most of his time was usually spent with Sehun, who felt that time spent with silence was time wasted. The prince liked to talk, and Jongin was usually on the other end of all of that chatter. He didn’t mind, but it could still become a nuisance when he wanted to sit and think. Soojung was the complete opposite of Sehun, and Jongin was fascinated by the difference.

Their appearances are similar, in Jongin’s eyes, with their pale and soft skin, such a contrast to Jongin’s own sun bronzed and rough skin, earned from years and years of training outside. And sometimes, in those silences when he and Soojung are sitting together, hands clasped, Jongin wonders if that’s what attracted him to her in the first place. He always dismisses that thought instantly, because he’ll start feeling guilty if he thinks that it’s the only reason.

He can’t help the comparisons, though, when he and Soojung are kissing. There is such a difference between kissing her and kissing Sehun. While Jongin can still easily be the dominant one and control the kiss, with Sehun it’s more of a fight and more rough and forceful. Soojung is all soft lips and shy movements, just like in everything else she does. Everything about her is softer than Sehun, and Jongin can’t get enough of that difference. He truly likes her so much, and that is what causes him to become more careless with how long he stays out and how long his absences can go unexplained.

It’s hard to care about that though, when Soojung is breaking the silence to tell him how much she likes Jongin, soft lips pressing against his cheek. Or when she’s telling him little stories about her life and what it’s like to live in town and her family. Her experiences are so different that Jongin’s own growing up, and he always wants to hear more. They cause these small seeds of resentment to plant themselves in his head, but Jongin doesn’t give much thought to them. He knows that they’re going to overwhelm him sooner rather than later, but he’d rather deal with it when it comes, than when he’s spending time with Soojung.

Time spent with her has become Jongin’s favorite, and even though it’s simple and they don’t do much, it’s the best time he’s ever experienced. This is something that’s completely his _own_ , and that knowledge fills him with a certain kind of joy that is addicting and amazing all at once. Jongin can’t get enough, and he hopes with everything he has that it doesn’t end anytime soon.

 

 

Sehun’s in his lesson on military strategies when it hits him. The books in front of him blur as his vision goes hazy, and he’s hit with the image of a riverbank that he’s not familiar with. He can see Jongin lying in the grass, eyes closed and relaxed as he soaks up the sun. There’s someone next to him, a pale girl with long, flowing black hair and she’s curled up intimately against Jongin’s side.

The image disappears as soon as it comes, and Sehun’s extremely disoriented as his books and tutor come back into focus. He tries to pay attention, but it gets harder the more he can’t take his mind off what the saw. The image of Jongin being close with someone else, someone that isn’t Sehun, upsets him greatly. They haven’t spent any time together, not since the lashing. That incident had changed something in their relationship, had broken something and neither knew how to fix it. Sehun was still guilty, so guilty and sorry, but he had never been able to convey that to Jongin. The older boy was clearly angry with Sehun, but he hadn’t bothered to try and fix anything between them either.

Now that the war was getting worse and Sehun’s father was preparing to actually leave the castle and join the battlegrounds, Sehun was thrust into more lessons and preparations for his upcoming ascension to the throne. He refuses to think that he might lose his father once he leaves, and the lessons he has to sit through are so demanding that it actually serves as a distraction from those thoughts. But now that he doesn’t have Jongin to help aid in that distraction, it pushes him deeper into stress and worry over everything that’s going on.

This image he just witnessed just pushes that fact more firmly to the front of his mind, and he can’t focus on anything else any longer. Not with all these thoughts crowding around in his brain.

“We’ll continue these later,” he announces to his tutor, abruptly pushing himself away from his seat.

His tutor splutters, stumbling to his feet and trying to protest to him leaving. But Sehun simply shoots him the best glare he can muster, and the man is pushed into silence under the look. Sehun sweeps from the room then, rushing back to his rooms and instructing his attendants to leave him be until he calls for them.

Once they’re gone he sinks onto his sofa, fingers rubbing circles into his temples to relieve his growing headache. Sehun can’t rid himself of the image of Jongin with that unknown girl, and the more he thinks about it, the more sick to his stomach he feels. His instinct is telling him that this is something that has been going on, that Jongin’s disappearances most likely have to do with this girl.

He reaches a decision then, and calls for his attendants to summon the castle’s spymaster to his rooms. A short time later he arrives, the man about as old as Sehun’s father, eyes sharp and calculating. He’ll be perfect, Sehun thinks.

“I have a job for you,” Sehun says, not rising from his seat.

“What is it, my prince?” the spymaster asks, head inclined.

“I take it that you’ve noticed my lionheart has been missing more and more frequently these past months?” Sehun asks, the words bitter on his tongue. The man nods at this, staying silent while he waits for Sehun to continue. “Find out where he goes, and what he does. Only track one of his outings, that’ll be enough to know what he’s up to. Report to me personally as soon as you’ve found out. No written reports, I don’t want a record of this.”

“As you wish, Prince Sehun. It will be completed before the week is up.”

“Good, you may leave.” Sehun waves his hand, dismissing the spymaster, who bows before turning and silently exiting the room.

Once Sehun is alone again, a dread settles in the pit of his stomach. He can’t shake the feeling that he’s going to find out something that he doesn’t want to know, that it’s going to be something that upsets him even more than he is right now. But he knows that this was the right thing to do. Jongin is _his_ lionheart, and it’s his right to know what the other boy is up to. If Jongin is keeping secrets from him, then Sehun is going to find them out and put a stop to whatever is going on.

That conclusion reassures him, and Sehun is less heavy-hearted as he freshens himself up to return to his lessons. Whatever comes of this is going to be a turning point, and Sehun is content in the knowledge that he’s going to have solid information soon. Whether it be good or bad.

 

 

Jongin has been lying with Soojung in the grass for the past hour. He has his arm wrapped around her shoulders, holding her close against his side as her head rested on his chest. The heat of her body next to his lulls him into a calm state, eyes drifting lazily shut and limbs relaxing. It’s rare for him to get this sort of downtime in the castle, and he cherishes every moment he can get like this with Soojung.

A rustling in the trees around them stirs Jongin into alertness immediately. The sound wasn’t that of an animal scurrying around, and if it weren’t for his sharp senses he wouldn’t have picked up on it at all. But all his time in the forests around the castle, training for just this type of thing, for human movement in trees and how to pick them out from animals, has taught him to know when he’s not alone in the forest.

He pushes Soojung off his chest, who gives him a curious look as he sits up, eyes intently scanning the trees around them. Jongin can’t hear or sense any more movement, the rustling has stopped completely. His ears strain to pick up anything else that they can, but whoever is out there is just as good as Jongin himself. The forest is utterly still, as if nothing had disturbed the air at all.

“What is it?” Soojung asks once Jongin’s posture begins to relax somewhat.

“Nothing, I thought I heard something. Must have been a trick of my mind. Don’t worry,” he says, smiling as he lies back down and beckons her into his arms.

Soojung settles back against him, her face turned up so she can lean in and press her lips against his own. Jongin relaxes into the kiss, slowly returning it and holding her body closer as his fingers play with the dark strands of her hair.

Even after they break the kiss, and lie in silence once more, Jongin’s body slowly slipping back into the calm state it was in before, he can’t rid himself of the suspicion that there was someone else out there in the trees. It brings a nervousness crawling up his spine, and he can’t help but worry that something is going to go wrong.

 

 

It’s after Sehun has finished his dinner and is making his way back to his rooms when the spymaster approaches him. His body tenses up then, and he’s suddenly regretting eating as much as he did when his stomach begins twisting in knots.

The spymaster doesn’t say a word, simply waits for Sehun to lead them into his rooms and collapse onto his sofa before finally speaking. “I’ve discovered where lionheart Jongin goes when he disappears.” Sehun keeps his face as blank as he can when he signals for the other to continue. “There’s an apothecary shop in town, run by a family that has two young, unmarried daughters. Lionheart Jongin is in some kind of relationship with the youngest girl. I followed them into the woods and to the eastern riverbank just outside of town. They didn’t do more than lie in silence together, and share kisses. Your lionheart sensed my presence at one point, and very nearly found me. I was only able to stay a little longer before having to leave before they did.”

Sehun’s heart clenches at the news. He didn’t want to believe that Jongin had someone else besides him. It shouldn’t be that way, it wasn’t allowed, Sehun was supposed to be the only person that Jongin cared about. Not some lowly shopkeeper’s daughter.

“You’ve done well. Keep this between us, now go,” Sehun says, fingers trembling as the spymaster bows and leaves as quickly and silently as he came.

As soon as he’s alone, Sehun lets his calm mask drop. He stands and begins pacing around his room, thoughts jumbled and emotions in disarray. Everything about him is a mess, and Sehun doesn’t know what to do with himself. This is something that he never thought he’d have to deal with. For as long as he can remember, it’s always been him and Jongin. No one else. Jongin has always only had Sehun, and that’s the way it should be.

Lionhearts weren’t supposed to have anyone else but their princes and kings. They were their lives, and Sehun can’t wrap his head around the fact that Jongin would even try to have someone else besides himself. It makes him so upset and angry; upset, because he thinks that he wasn’t enough to satisfy Jongin, and angry, because Jongin was very blatantly breaking the rules and Sehun had to do something to keep his father from finding out and punishing the older boy.

He resolves to confront Jongin about it this night. Sehun will go to Jongin’s rooms, because he knows that he’ll be in control of the situation no matter where they’re at. He’s the prince, and Jongin was the one breaking rules and customs, so Sehun knows that he has the right to reprimand the older boy, who can say nothing in defense of himself.

Sehun steels his nerves and settles his twisting stomach as best he can as he makes his way to Jongin’s room. Whatever happens, things are going to change, and Sehun is preparing himself for the inevitable.

The walk to Jongin's room takes no time at all, and when he knocks, there's no answer or even any noise from the other side. He pushes the door open, and the room is dark, no candles lit or anything. Jongin isn't back yet.

He sets about lighting the lamps in the room, and takes in the state of it once it's fully lit. The room is tidy, not nearly as cluttered with things as Sehun's own is. Since he doesn't know when Jongin will be back, and he doesn't want to dwell on the problem at hand, Sehun decides to look around. It's not very often he can do something like this, and he's curious at the type of personal items that Jongin keeps.

To his disappointment, there's nothing special or revealing at all. Jongin only keeps his clothes in here, and various trinkets and items that Sehun himself had given him. A few books from the library are stacked neatly on the desk, but they're all on war history and subjects of that nature, which is completely uninteresting to Sehun. Weapons and armor lie scattered about everywhere, and he wonders what Jongin needs with a bow in his room.

That ever present sense of guilt is creeping into his consciousness at this point, and Sehun closes the drawer full of daggers and knives that he's just been snooping through. Nothing in this room is going to tell him who that girl is and what she means to Jongin. He's going to have to wait to hear it from the other boy's own mouth, so he settles down onto the bed to do just that.

 

 

Jongin swings off his horse that evening in high spirits, handing off the reins to one of the stable boys before making his way into the castle. He plans to have a bath before taking his dinner, because Soojung had been wearing some kind of new perfume that her sister had made, and the scent of it was clinging to him and his clothes. It would be hard to explain why he smells like a girl if Sehun happened to come across him.

When he reaches his room he's too happy to notice the faint light flickering from under his door, and carelessly swings it open, freezing in place once he sees Sehun sitting on his bed. Why would he be there? Jongin shuts the door, frantically wracking his brain in case there was something that Sehun had wanted him to pick up and he forgot. But there wasn't anything that he had wanted recently, and that makes him even more curious as to why Sehun would be here at this moment.

"Hi..? What are you doing in here?" Jongin questions, hands sliding into the pockets of his pants.

"Waiting for you," Sehun says. He stands, and there's a strange emotion on his face that Jongin can't quite make out. Before he can figure out what it is, however, Sehun is staring intently at his chest with his eyebrows knitting together. And when he speaks, his voice is hard and accusing. "What is _that_? Who gave that to you?"

Jongin looks down, and curses himself for forgetting to pull out the flower that Soojung had shyly placed in there before he left. "It's nothing, what business is it of yours?" he retorts, walking over to this desk and setting the flower carefully down onto it.

"It's my business because you're my lionheart. I have a right to know everything about you," Sehun responds, nose turned haughtily up in the air. "Which means you have to tell me who that girl is that you're sneaking out of the castle to see."

Jongin freezes at that, heartbeat escalating because _how did Sehun find out?_ But it hits him when he remembers those noises in the forest, where he had been so certain that they hadn't been alone. He knew he should have gone to see what it was, it was so careless of him to let it go and cast it aside as if it were nothing. Sehun must have sent one of the spies after him, and Jongin can't believe he was so stupid.

He realizes though, that it really isn't Sehun's business to know who Soojung is. She's the _only_ person that he has that he gets to choose to be around. It's not like Sehun, where he's bound to follow him around no matter what. Jongin has no family, he doesn't even remember the woman who gave birth to him, having been taken from her before he could even sit up on his own. What right does Sehun have to take this away from him, too?

"I don't have to tell you anything, Sehun. Stop trying to control another aspect of my life!" Jongin shouts, fists clenching in anger. "I've never had any sort of control of my own life! From the day I was taken to this castle I've had everything planned out for me. There's never been anything else I could do, no one else I could have except for _you_!"

Anger is clouding his mind like a poison, and he can't keep it at bay, can't do anything to stop it. Resentment of his whole life boils in his stomach, and bitterness towards Sehun crawls along his veins and causes him to grab a dagger and hurl it at the opposite wall, where it embeds itself in the mortar between the stones.

Sehun's rigid where he stands, and his face is paler than Jongin has ever seen it. He looks terrified, especially after Jongin hurls another dagger, his breathing harsh and loud in his ears.

"You're so selfish, Sehun! You think that just because you're the prince and I'm your lionheart, you can do whatever you want with me. Well you're wrong! My life is my own, and I'm tired of never getting to make my own choices!" Jongin paces around his room, knocking over books and chairs in his anger. "Do you even realize that I can't live without you? If I were to fail in protecting you and you died, I'd be shamed forever. I'd be _forced_ into ending my own life when yours does! That's how it's always been, and I'm never going to escape that. My life is _nothing_."

He finally stops his pacing, standing in the middle of his destroyed room and panting heavily. Sehun is still beside his bed, looking shocked at Jongin's outburst and as if guilt is eating him alive. Jongin thinks he might be on the verge of tears too, with the way his eyes are glassy and his lips are trembling. But he doesn't care what Sehun feels, he's too angry and bitter over the fact that his life was trying to be controlled once again. He refuses to let that happen, he wants the freedom to do what he wants. Jongin is tired of his life not being his own. Others have much more control that he will ever have, and the injustice of it all makes him sick with anger.

"Get out," he snarls, walking over to Sehun and grabbing the other's arm in a bruising grip. Jongin ignores the way that Sehun whimpers in his hold, and simply opens the door and shoves him out. 

The door slams, and Jongin's feet slide out from under him and he sinks to the floor. The anger is slowly melting away, leaving only a bitter aftertaste on his tongue and the beginnings of guilt brewing in his stomach.

 

 

When the morning comes Jongin awakes with a groan. He sits up, rubbing at his temples while a headache pulses under his fingers. The light shining in through the window hurts his eyes, and illuminates the mess from the night before. Everything comes crashing back into his consciousness then, and Jongin falls into his blankets, not wanting to get up and face the consequences of his actions.

A knock on his door rouses him up again, and a frown mars his face as he runs his fingers through his hair, trying to make himself presentable for whoever's on the other side of the door.

It turns out to be one of Sehun's servants, a young girl who looks nervous to be in Jongin's presence, especially surrounded by the evidence of his temper. "Prince Sehun requests your presence at his table, for breakfast," she says, staring at a spot just over Jongin's shoulder. "But, he specifically said that it would be fine if you don't show up."

Jongin purses his lips, mulling over the invitation. Eating a meal with Sehun doesn't sound appealing in the slightest, but ignoring him also makes the guilt churn even more in his stomach. He doesn't know what to do.

"Tell Prince Sehun that I decline his offer," Jongin eventually says, idly waving a hand to dismiss the girl.

She gives a frightened sort of twitch that vaguely resembles a curtsy, and rushes from the room as if it were on fire. Jongin doesn't care, though. A lot of the servants had been wary around him for years, and especially so after the lashing. He was seen as a reckless rule breaker, a dangerous boy who couldn't control his actions and got caught in the midst of them. The tale of the state of his room is going to spread quickly through the castle, and if he's being honest, it does dampen his mood a bit.

It's after he's cleaned his face and threw on some fresh clothes that he decides to join Sehun after all. The guilt of what happened is what makes the decision for him, and he follows his instinct to go see the younger boy.

When he shows up in the dining room, one of Sehun's servants is about to clean the plate away that had been set out for him. The fact that Sehun had one out already for Jongin is oddly touching, with the hope and thought that was put behind it. The gesture nearly makes him feel better, but then Sehun is looking up at him and he remembers last night all over again.

Jongin stiffly takes his seat across from the other boy, and the servant is nervously setting the plate down again before hurriedly leaving the room. Sehun waves away the other servants, and they leave gratefully. It looks like Sehun wants to speak, to say anything at all, but Jongin looks down at his plate stubbornly refuses to meet the other boy's eyes.

Even though he's here, eating a meal with Sehun for the first time in weeks, he doesn't want to talk. The anger is still too fresh, and even though he feels guilty, he's not ready to try and bridge the gap completely yet. It's too soon, Jongin thinks, and he doesn't want Sehun to try and justify his actions. Sehun is the prince, he will never understand how hard Jongin's life has been.

The last thing he wants is some half hearted attempt at an apology, so he opts to eat his meal in silence. Sehun fidgets across from him, clearly uncomfortable with the awkward atmosphere between them. And it's getting to Jongin, too, so he finishes his food as fast as he can and sweeps from the room without saying a single word.

If Jongin is being honest, he hates that they've become this way. Reduced to not speaking and harboring anger between them. But he doesn't know how to fix it, so he doesn't.

 

 

The sun is bright in Sehun's eyes, and he raises his hand to shield himself from the rays. It's crowded in the main courtyard; nearly every member of the castle is gathered around to watch the king's departure. The war has been creeping closer and closer to the capital, and Sehun's father had decided it was time to go out and survey the state of the war and troops himself. He’s told Sehun that he thinks it would inspire the troops if they were to see their king out on the battlefield with them, bring new morale and hope to them. That plan doesn’t seem very good in Sehun’s mind, but he kept his mouth shut on his doubts and agreed that his father should go through with it.

Sehun wishes that he wouldn't go, though. There’s a creeping feeling in his chest that something horrible is going to happen. He doesn't want to be left alone. The last thing he wants is a life with no mother, no father, and no Jongin. It would make dealing with everything that much harder. And while he’s never been that close with his father, he’s still going to miss him terribly.

His father steps up to him, hands resting on his shoulders as he graces Sehun with a small smile. "Take care of the kingdom while I'm gone, son. I know that you're capable of doing a good job." He pulls Sehun into an embrace then, warm arms enveloping his body and it's all Sehun can do to hold back his tears as he clings onto his father.

It's over all too soon, and Sehun is being forced to stand back, face as blank as he can make it at the moment. Jongin is standing just to the left and a step behind Sehun, and despite their current problems, the older boy's presence is comforting. Sehun especially needs that small sliver of comfort, because before he knows it, his father is mounting his horse and giving one final wave to the courtyard.

The noise of the crowd is deafening, but he pushes it to the back of his head where it’s reduced to background static. And then, without a look in Sehun's direction, the king rides out, standards blazing in the wind and leaving only the echo of clattering hooves and loud cheering in his head.

Jongin's hand finds his own, giving it a brief squeeze before letting go. Sehun doesn't turn to see the expression on Jongin's face, instead choosing to appreciate the small gesture of caring. It's been weeks since they've spoken, or touched, so this means more to Sehun than it normally would have. His need for the comforting presence of Jongin has gotten unbearable, especially now with the departure of his father. Longing looks from castle windows to the training grounds aren't enough, and the feelings of guilt and despair only add on to his need.

But he hopes that maybe, despite the direness of the situation, this is what they need to bridge the gap between them.

 

 

When Jongin bursts into the weapons room, Yunho starts and nearly runs him through with a sword. If it weren't for his years of training and natural instinct, Jongin would have died. As it is, he's able to move out of the way, avoiding the end of the sword and using his boot to kick it aside. Yunho glares at him, lowering the sword and setting it on the table.

"What was that for? You know better than to come barging in here." Yunho nods, looking disapprovingly down at Jongin.

"I'm sorry, but I really need to talk to you," Jongin says, pulling up a chair and practically forcing the older male to sit.

Yunho doesn't say anything, just leans back in his chair and waits for Jongin to speak. But now that Jongin has his attention, he doesn't know what to say. His revelation had given him the sudden urge to run and talk to the only father figure he's ever had, but now his mind is too much of a mess to even know where to start.

Everyone has been on edge since the king's departure, and Jongin had been feeling more and more conflicted ever since. He had seen how Sehun was handling the absence of his father and the sudden pressure on him to act as a king. Jongin could tell that Sehun was beginning to crack, the stress and worry visible in his face whenever Jongin caught even a glimpse of him. It was pulling at something in his gut, and his head had been trying to point him in the right direction to what it was. It wasn't until two nights ago that he figured it out.

"I'm in love with Prince Sehun."

Jongin collapses into a chair across from the older male then, and studies him carefully. After the initial shock had flitted across Yunho's face, a look of deep thought settled in its place. Silence stretched between them, and the longer it lasted the more sick that Jongin felt to his stomach. What if it had been a bad idea to come here and admit to this?

"You know this is very, very wrong for your ranks, Jongin," Yunho says, leaning forward and holding Jongin's gaze. "But if you truly love him, you must protect him with everything you have. These are bad times, and I don't want to see you regret any decisions you might make."

Silence reigns again after Yunho speaks, Jongin trying to process what just happened. He's touched that despite the fact that what he feels is utterly forbidden, Yunho is supportive anyway. It means a lot to him, and he has to swallow thickly around the lump in his throat. Jongin knows that things aren't going to ever be easy, that he's probably going to have to live with pretending his feelings don't exist. But the fact that Yunho cares and will be there to support him makes dealing with this so much easier than he could have ever hoped for.

"I'll do everything in my power to protect the prince. Not just because it's my duty, but because I love him, too," Jongin says firmly then, proud of the fact that he was able to keep his voice steady.

Yunho smiles, reaching forward to pat Jongin's knee. "I know that you will, Jongin. You're the best at what you do, and you're a strong kid. You'll be just fine."

"Thank you, Yunho," Jongin allows his voice to break at that, standing and bowing deeply to the man he respects the most.

He leaves the room then, not wanting to get tangled up and lost in the emotion that's suddenly welling his chest from the encounter. There's only one more thing he has to do now that he has _someone's_ blessing, and it's not something that he's looking forward to.

But he saddles up Ivory anyway and rides into town.

Sooyeon must have seen him in the distance on his horse, because when he climbs down Soojung is standing outside the shop waiting for him. There's no smile on her face, but she looks lovely anyway. It hurts Jongin to know what he has to do, but it's for the best.

"Soojung, I have something important to talk to you about." He grabs her hand, gently steering her into the empty alley next to her family's shop. It's not the most ideal spot, but he wants to get this over with as soon as possible. "You know my rank in the castle, that I'm soon to be the lionheart for the prince, officially. There are rules, and I can't break them anymore. I'm so sorry."

She takes his explanation in stride, only a hint of sadness tainting her eyes as she nods, voice soft when she speaks. "I always knew it would come to this. Especially now, since the king has left." There's a pause before she follows up her words, quieter than ever. "You don't… regret this, do you?"

"Never. I would never regret what we had," Jongin says, reaching out to pull Soojung into an embrace. She trembles in his arms, and he feels horrible for what he's doing. But it's for Sehun, and that's what gives him the strength to finally pull away and tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. "I hope you'll be happy, Soojung. Take care of yourself."

Jongin turns and leaves the alley then, climbing back onto his horse and taking the long way back to the castle. And if his eyes are red and puffy when he comes back, he can always pretend that it was the wind stinging into them that caused it.

 

 

There's a clanging of swords, and the feeling that something is _wrong_. Everything is a mess of action and shouting, and he wants to scream but he can't. There's too much going on and he can't figure out which way is up and which is down. Confusion seeps into his mind and causes everything to become gritty and twisting. A black figure looms over him then, and he catches a glimpse of a crown glinting in the daylight and smirk twitching on lips before a flash of silver crosses his vision, and everything goes black.

Sehun awakes with a start, body soaked with sweat and chest heaving from the terrified adrenaline pumping through his body. What he saw only makes an inkling of sense, and he's too scared to delve deeper into finding out what it is. A sense of foreboding sweeps over him, twists his gut into knots and he falls back into a fitful sleep.

Of course, the news reaches the castle the next afternoon that the king was killed in battle.

It's a bigger shock than he had expected, and Sehun does his best not to break down in front of the court. Everything is crashing down on him; his mother has been gone for years, and now his father was suddenly and harshly ripped from his life. The absence of them hurts, it hurts so much but there’s nothing he can about it. He doesn’t even have Jongin to lean on for support. The only thing he has is his own grief.

But grief comes second to duty, and he's rushed into preparations for his very imminent rise to the throne. The war is going worse than expected, and now they have to scramble to do what they can to save their home. It's now Sehun's job to make the decisions, and he isn't given even a moment to himself to mourn the loss of his father. All kinds of decisions need to be made, Sehun floundering through them all and relying heavily on his advisors to know what’s best. He’s afraid that his emotions will keep him from making the right choices.

He sleeps late and awakens early every day, his muddled mind barely able to make out what's going on around him. Arrangements need to be made for when he's crowned, and word needs to get out that Prince Sehun will rise to their new leader in a few days’ time. Everyone is stressed and harried, too busy to notice the deteriorating state of their young prince. There's a constant flurry and buzz of activity around him, and it strains on him until he can't take it anymore.

The day before he's to be crowned, Sehun breaks down. He's in the middle of a lesson that's teaching him for what feels like the hundredth time how he's supposed to stand once he has the crown on, when the tears spring to his eyes. The thought of wondering if this is what his father had to go through floats to the forefront of his mind, and he can't hold back the sob that escapes his throat after he imagines his father.

Everyone halts in what they're doing, and Sehun actually misses his father so much that it _hurts_. He's so overwhelmed, so stressed, that he can't control his actions or emotions any longer. The lack of time to grieve and mourn has finally taken its toll, and he loses it right there in the middle of a room full of tutors and advisors.

A hush falls then, the only noise is the sound of Sehun's sobs and choked gasps. No one seems to know what to do with him, all at a loss to know how to deal with a boy who’s just lost everything. There are footsteps then, and a comforting arm is wrapped around his shoulders. A familiar scent of soap and bread reaches his senses and Sehun curls into the warmth of his childhood caretaker.

No one protests when she takes him from the room, his sobs dwindling down to quiet sniffles and the occasional hiccup. Everyone stares as she leads Sehun back to his rooms, pitying gazes on the bloodshot eyes of the prince and the sadness so apparent in every move he makes. When they reach his rooms, she helps Sehun into his sleep clothes before tucking him into his bed.

Fingers stroke through his hair, and the gentle motion lulls him into as calm a state as he can manage. The grief is still there, still heavily lingering in his mind, but it's more manageable now. Sehun knows that he can almost deal with it, but there's one thing he's missing that he desperately needs.

"Can you send in Lionheart Jongin?" he asks, voice hoarse from his crying.

She hums an affirmative, and the pressure at the side of his bed is gone, followed by the sound of a door opening and closing. Sehun burrows into his covers, trying to keep his mind off of everything, to remain numb. And it works, because before he knows it, Jongin is in the room.

The light in the room slowly lessens until only the lamp next to his bedside is lit. Sehun can hear the sound of Jongin taking off his boots, and he clears his throat before speaking up. "Please stay with me, I don't think that I can get to sleep tonight. I would like your company."

There's silence except for the rustling of clothes, and Jongin wordlessly slides into the bed. Sehun is pulled into Jongin's warm arms, and he presses his face against a bare chest. It's been so long since they've done this, lie in the same bed and share body heat. Sehun's missed it so much, and he nearly starts crying again from the utter relief he feels to know that Jongin is still there for him when he needs it.

Fingers are rubbed soothingly into his back, and Sehun slowly relaxes and calms down under the touch. It feels like the most natural thing to do to lean up and press his lips against Jongin's. There's no hesitancy in Jongin's reaction, and he falls into kissing Sehun back right away. It's as if they had never stopped this, never stopped being intimate in this way. Everything feels right, like they're simply picking up where they left off. And in a way, that's what happened.

The two of them may have drifted apart, and bad situations may have slipped in between their friendship, but it was nothing that they couldn't sweep away again. Years upon years of a bond stronger than words swells between them, and Sehun easily and gratefully gets lost in it.

Each kiss of Jongin's lips and each drag of his fingertips feels like it strips away the unwanted memories of the past. The closer they get to being pressed skin to skin is another moment of their childhood innocence being lost and pushed away. It's terrifying and amazing all at once. Sehun would never want this moment to be with anyone else but Jongin.

Everything blurs, and Sehun finds himself on his back, legs spread as Jongin coats his fingers in the oils that Sehun keeps on his bedside table. Lips press to his own, and a finger slides carefully into him. He can't hold back the whimper that escapes his lips, and each time another finger is added they increase in volume.

Jongin greedily swallows down each of Sehun's noises, fingers moving rhythmically and Sehun doesn't know if he wants more of it he wants this to stop. The overwhelming emotion swirling in his veins pushes at him to breathe out needy whines of _more_ , and Jongin is only too happy to oblige.

A hand rubs soothingly along his thigh, and Sehun gasps when Jongin's cock is pushed into him. He can't help the tears that slip from his eyes, but Jongin, panting lightly, leans down and kisses them off his cheeks. The same hand that was on his thigh moves to wrap around his own cock, and begins to stroke over him lazily.

Before long Sehun's whining for more, the first slide of Jongin's hips pulling a groan from his throat. He reaches up and clutches onto a shoulder, fingers digging into tanned skin. The rocking of their bodies starts off slow, but gradually increases until they're both gasping and moaning, Jongin's fingers pressing bruises into Sehun's hipbones.

Sweat clings to them, and Sehun looks up to watch the way that pleasure transforms Jongin's face. He looks even better like this, hair clinging to his forehead and face scrunched up in a type of concentration that Sehun has never seen on his face before.

Jongin's fingers are on his cock again, hips steadily rocking into a spot that has him crying out and begging for something, _anything_. He gets it only a few moments later, body spasming and tensing up as he sees white, a steady chorus of Jongin's name falling from his lips as he rides out the waves of pleasure.

Vaguely he can feel and hear Jongin reaching his own high, before dropping down onto Sehun's body. Sehun wraps his arms around the older boy's neck, holding him close as fingers dance along sweaty skin. There's an emotion bubbling just under the surface, threatening to spill past his lips the closer he holds Jongin, heart beating against his own.

He knows that it's useless to say it, though. Jongin moves off him then, a whimpering spilling past each of their lips from the sudden loss of contact between them. It doesn't last long, not when Jongin is immediately pulling Sehun into his arms and nuzzling him close, breath slowly evening out to a regular rhythm.

Sehun waits until he knows that Jongin is fully asleep until whispering his _I love you_ into his ear.

 

 

The next day is an even bigger flurry of movement than the past weeks had been. Jongin had cleaned them up the best he could, then left Sehun to his attendants. Despite the dull ache in his lower back, Sehun had been forced into multiple baths, every inch of his body scrubbed and polished to the cleanest he’s ever been, not a hair left untouched as he mutters a half-hearted excuse about bumping into a table to account for the faint bruises.

The ceremonial robe is heavy on his shoulders, the fabric and intricate designs weaved into it are more uncomfortable than he wants to admit. But, Sehun thinks that the silver and faint hints of gold set off his pale skin and features nicely. He looks like a man, a man set to be king and finally leave his childhood behind. It’s his time to grow up, and for once in his life, Sehun feels ready for it.

He’s swept into the main courtyard, where he so recently saw his father for the last time. Pain throbs in his chest at the memory, but he sweeps it aside because this is not the time or place for it. There is no longer any time for grieving, and Sehun swears that once he has that crown, he won’t let it bother him anymore.

There are people everywhere, and even though the main gates are closed, he can hear the crowd that waits just outside. It’s thrilling and terrifying all at once, Sehun’s nerves tingle with the excitement of it. Jongin appears in his line of vision then, scrubbed and just as clean as himself. The clothes Jongin has to wear are so much more subtle than Sehun’s own. Dark browns and gold are what make up the simple, but functional outfit that he’s in. A sword is strapped to his waist, and he shoots Sehun a small smile when he catches him looking.

Sehun returns it with one of his own, the gates opening at that moment. A cheer goes up and Sehun has to smooth his face back into the mask of a calm leader, tearing his gaze away from Jongin to the people that he’s soon to rule.

The master of ceremonies steps forward and raises his arms, the crowd falling into silence at the gesture. Sehun is too overwhelmed to hear much of anything that’s being said, too lost in his own thoughts that the noise just buzzes into background noise in his head. It’s only when he gets a slight nudge from Jongin that he realizes it’s time for him to step forward.

His steps falter, and a shooting pain moves over his spine, causing a limp to his walk and he shoots Jongin a glare. The older boy bites down on his bottom lip, trying to hide a grin as he whispers an _I apologize, my king_ to Sehun. He waves it off, planning to get Jongin back later, ignoring the pain that’s quickly subsiding into a dull ache that he can handle, and steps forward.

The noise of the crowd begins to grow at the sight of Sehun, in excitement and joy over the knowledge of what’s to happen next. Sehun lowers himself to one knee, kneeling facing the crowd, while slowly, and so terribly quickly, a crown is placed onto his head. He waits a few moments before getting to his feet, head held high and Sehun has never felt more like a royal in his life.

“I present to you, King Sehun, the rightful ruler of Joseon!” the master of ceremonies announces, and the crowd erupts in cheers.

It’s deafening, the noise coming from the people of the town and the inhabitants of the castle surrounds him and fills up everything he is. Jongin’s presence is at his side then, a small band of gold atop his head to symbolize his rank as the king’s lionheart. The cheers increase in volume then, everyone thrilled to meet their new king and his lionheart. It’s a moment of festivity and celebration, and Sehun finds a wide smile stretching across his face.

He is terribly glad that he’s not required to make any sort of speech at this time, because he’s sure that the words would not be able to escape past the lump in his throat. Sehun is full of every emotion he can think of as he’s lead back into the castle, mind and feelings a swirling mess. The moment he’s been preparing for his whole life has finally arrived. Finally, after all these years; after all the losses he’s suffered and events that have shaped who he is today, Sehun is king. He can only hope that this new era in his life will last and he can live on in the peace that he deserves.

 

 

It’s nearing dawn when Sehun is roused from his sleep. He blinks blearily up at who woke him, and finds Jongin standing there in his full battle gear. Pieces of armor adorn his chest and wrists, shins covered with a similar metal and he has a bow and quiver of arrows strapped to his back, along with the sword at his waist. He has the lionheart circlet atop his head, where it glints in the flickering light from the lamps. Sehun is so confused, he’s never seen Jongin like this and wonders why he’s like that in Sehun’s rooms in the middle of the night.

He doesn’t have to wonder for long, because the next moment he’s urgently explaining the situation. “Sehun, King Yifan’s forces have reached the border of the city. They’re making their way through the town; we can only hold them back for so long. It’s only a matter of time before they reach the castle.”

That has Sehun flying out of his bed, rushing to pull on clothes. His fingers tremble from the sudden fear rushing through him, and Jongin steps closer and helps him to slide into the garments he’s fumbling with. The crown is placed onto his head, and the only thing he can think is that this can’t be happening; the war couldn’t have deteriorated so badly. It was just a week ago when one of Sehun’s military generals had reported they were making progress in pushing the Zhanguo forces back. How did they get to the city? He can’t wrap his head around it, can’t accept that the end of his life as he knows it is rapidly closing in on him.

Jongin leads Sehun out of his rooms, stopping at his own to grab a sword and strap it around Sehun’s waist. “You remember everything I’ve taught you, right? I’ll do everything it takes to protect you, Sehun, but I want you to be prepared. Don’t go down without a fight.”

Sehun nods, tongue swiping across his dry lips nervously. He can’t process everything that’s going on, not with the packed hallways full of terrified and determined activity. The guards are rushing to reinforce the front gates, and archers are running up to the battlements to try and hold the enemy back. Jongin begins to follow the archers, but Sehun stops him in the stairwell and pulls him back.

“Jongin, this is the end, isn’t it?” he asks, voice steady and soft in the midst of all the noise of the attack.

Jongin’s expression hardens into a steely resolve, and he shakes his head before pulling Sehun into his arms, voice quiet and breath hot in his ear. “It won’t be the end, I won’t let it be. I’ll do anything and everything possible to keep you safe.”

He pulls back then, pressing a hard kiss to Sehun’s lips, determination blazing in his eyes when he moves away. A strong hand clasps his wrist, and Sehun is moving back up the stairs again. When they emerge on the battlements, the noise of the attack is louder in his ears than he had anticipated.

Fires blaze here and there, Sehun’s heart breaking for the city that’s been his home. The enemy troops are quickly advancing, easily overtaking anyone who tries to stand in their way. They have been trained to be efficient and ruthless, Sehun can see now that his kingdom has never stood a chance against them.

Jongin pushes Sehun behind him, against the back wall of the battlements so he won’t be in danger of a stray arrow flying his way and landing on its target. He thinks that his glinting crown was a horrible idea, it makes him easier to see and mark him as someone important and necessary to kill. But he also wants to die a king, so he resists the urge to yank it off and throw it aside.

He watches as Jongin grabs his bow and notches an arrow, letting it fly into the troops below where it knocks a man off his horse. Faster than Sehun knew he could do, Jongin notches arrows and shoots them into the enemy, rarely failing to miss a target. If he weren’t so terrified and full of adrenaline, he would have been impressed by how much Jongin has improved over the years.

There’s no time for that though, because despite everyone’s best efforts and Jongin’s skill, the troops are getting closer. Soon enough the front gate will be breached, the enemy will spill into the courtyard and it will be a bloodbath. He can hear a loud curse from Jongin before his wrist is being grabbed again, and he’s yanked back down the stairs they had so recently ran up.

“We’ll get trapped up there if we stay, like a mouse with a cat. To keep you safe we’re going to have to go through the courtyard and back into the castle. Find a safe way out,” Jongin explains, slinging his bow over his shoulder and unsheathing his sword.

Sehun is too numb to say anything, the chaos of everything that’s happening crowding in his mind, causing him to be incapable of speech. The only thing he can do is follow Jongin, and he wouldn’t have done anything else, anyway. There’s no one he trusts more with his life than the older boy, no one he would want by his side right now than Jongin.

Just as they step into the courtyard, a horrible clanging and clashing is heard, the cries of the wounded reaching his ears as the gates are forced open. The enemy is spilling inside and Sehun looks on in horror as the fight breaks out.

There's a tug on his wrists again that causes Sehun to stumble forward, following blindly in Jongin's wake as he pushes through the crowd, sword swinging and flashing through the air. A couple of bodies fall in their wake, Sehun's eyes unable to look away when he rushes past, the blood flowing and pooling under his feet. He wants to be sick, to stop and have time to empty the contents of his stomach, but they can't stop. They have to keep moving, have to get out of the castle and away from the fighting.

Once they manage to reach a relatively empty corner of the courtyard, Sehun stops Jongin. His chest is heaving, he doesn't think that he can move any farther at the moment. Jongin looks angry, scared, and frustrated, but obliges to Sehun's wishes when he sees the look on his face. The death grip on his wrist is gone, the pressure suddenly making him feel light and empty. Before the feeling of being alone can crawl its way up his spine he reaches out, grabbing Jongin's hand tightly and entwining their fingers together. Jongin doesn't question it, just squeezes Sehun's hand and he's glad for that small bit of support.

He sees the image of the enemy king riding into the courtyard, King Yifan of Zhanguo sitting proud and tall atop his white horse, crown gleaming in the light of the torches along the walls. The looming presence of a figure clad in black is on a horse behind him, sword drawn and catlike eyes locking on where Sehun stands with Jongin. 

It's as if everything moves slower, the sound of the battle dimming in his ears until he can't hear anything except the pounding of his heart. Jongin moves to stand in front of him, sword raised and teeth bared in anger. The black clad male leaps off his horse in one smooth motion, sword swinging through the air and clashing against Jongin's own. They parry back and forth, the speed of their moves dazing Sehun and he can't follow their movements at all. 

And then it's over. The hilt of the other's sword rams into Jongin's temple, causing him to immediately go down. Sehun looks on in horror as the same sword is raised, blade gleaming before lowering down quick as a flash into Jongin's chest. The scream that's lodged in his throat doesn't come out, not even when that same blade, blood dripping down off it, is turned on him. The boy lunges forward, the last thing Sehun getting a glimpse of is the triumphant smirk of the other king.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sehun blinks once, twice, three times. The battle goes on around him, Jongin's hand still clasped in his own. Dizziness makes his vision swim, and he shakes his head to steady himself. A sudden clarity is in his mind, and the only thing he knows at that moment is that no matter what, Jongin is right beside him. 

He tightens his grip on Jongin’s hand, and the latter looks over at him, confusion evident in his expression at their halt. “You’ll be at my side even at the end, right, Jongin?” Sehun questions, voice just barely loud enough for Jongin to hear over the clamor of ongoing fights. “Promise me, Jongin. You'll always be with me, in this life and the next."

There's a sense of despair and finality in Sehun’s voice that causes Jongin to tighten the grip on his hand in return until it feels like they're clinging onto each other for life, fingers never letting go once. They stand there in silence, cut off from everything around them at that moment, all traces of fear gone from their minds. Jongin's lips curl into a soft, sad smile before he nods.

"I promise."

**Author's Note:**

> decided to transfer my fic over from my old account on lj, @ shoemin! i wrote this so along ago, but it's still my favorite work i've written. i did some minor edits to clean up some of the writing, but 99% of this is the same one that was originally posted. i hope everyone enjoys it!


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